It has been so disturbing to watch the news daily with the perpetual sexual misconduct allegations by politicians, public figures, actors, producers, directors and news anchors, etc. I asked our staff at the Oaks (11/28/17) to sign and practice the following commitment to moral integrity with the opposite sex. These are not all mine, I took some from our Billy Graham’s “10 Commandments For Opposite Sex Guidelines” and I also borrowed some from Rick Warren’s “Saddleback Staff Covenant With The Opposite Sex.” The Oaks is the third church staff that I have led to adopt such a policy of moral integrity with the opposite sex. It has been very help! While some of it may seem a little extreme, you can see these days what failure in this area can wreck everyone’s life that is involved. And of course, real integrity involves so much more than just sexual standards and morals! Check these out, perhaps you need to adopt such a policy personally! It would be a lot better than destroying lives, including your own!
All for Jesus~Barry
10 Commandments For Moral Integrity With The Opposite Sex
- Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex.*
- Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you. There must be a third-party*
- Thou shalt not kiss any person of opposite or same-sex or show affection that could be questioned.*
- Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home.
- Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office, without someone else in the office area. You shall not counsel the opposite sex more than once without that person’s mate. If a door is without window, it must be left partially open (at least 6 inches) when counseling a person of the opposite sex. If there is a window in the door, then you can shut the door. If needed refer them.
- Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling. Refer them.
- Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with a person of the opposite sex.
- Thou shalt be careful in answering emails, text, fb messenger, phone calls, chatrooms, cards, or letters from the opposite sex.
- Thou shalt make your assistant (secretary) or other staff your protective ally in these matters.
- Thou shalt guard what your eyes see and your heart desires. Do not lust after the opposite sex (in relationships, internet, video, etc.).
*The first three do not apply to unmarried staff.
Violations of these guidelines deemed necessary of report by the Lead Pastor will result in the following process:
- Confession and correction of the matter.
- Incident report will be filled out and given to Personnel Committee.
- If continued and not corrected, you will be asked to seek ministry elsewhere.
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Eph. 5:3).